“When I sign a bill it means just what I choose it to mean.”

President Obama has been taking a lot of flack from the right-wing. From Paul Broun of Georgia to the controversial Jodi Ernst and Ted Cruz, and supporters of the bizarre Rick Santorum, Republicans are insulting the President as a dictator. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) called him a thug and a dictator.

The only excuse they give is that the President is making laws without consulting congress. Democrats argue that if Congress doesn’t want to get anything done, the President is “well within his rights” to act without the legislative body.

The President joked that “let me just say, if locking people in a room until they start acting on my common-sense proposals makes me a dictator, well, call me a dictator.”

“Seriously,” the President said, “I can’t be a dictator. I don’t know how to mind-meld my opponents like the Jedi.”

Editorialist Ezra Klein agreed. “For a hundred years the definition of dictators says that they need Jedi mind control skillz. The Republicans are acting as if, just because the President is making laws from the White House that he’s some out-of-control dictator.”

Republicans also complained that the President rewrites existing laws to mean the opposite of what congress passed. President Obama disagreed.

“This is still a democracy,” said the President, “and that means the executive branch has a say in what gets passed. I sign the bills. With my little pen. And when I sign a bill it means just what I choose it to mean. Neither more nor less, and certainly not what a fractious and divided congress pretends that it means after I sign it.”

Republican Alice Pleasance of Wonderland, California, argued that the question is “whether the President can make laws mean so many different things. Is the President above the law?”

President Obama replied that “the question is, which is to be master? The law, or the President?”

CNN reporter Jessica Yellin eloquently argued that “Some may call him dictator. To the unpatriotic, to the anti-social and anti-civilized, to the tea party, to the Republicans, he is dictator. To America—full of sterling human worth—to America, in our judgement, President Obama is liberator.”