“We will tear down the walls that keep victims of domestic violence and their families apart,” said President Obama. “But this razor wire may be useful to keep domestic violence victims from escaping their responsibility to love and forgive all those touched by domestic violence.”

The Office of the President-Emeritus announced today that President Barack Obama has accepted an offer by the Washington, DC-based Sanctuary for Abused Women & Children. President Obama will assume the Executive Directorship of the shelter.

The SAWC is well-regarded throughout the District for its efforts to protect victims of domestic abuse, providing both shelter and counseling. The former President acknowledged this record, but said “we can do more”. He promised drastic change in the way the shelter excludes certain people, especially the parents of abused children.

“Let’s not mince words,” said President Obama. “The choice we face is ultimately between acceptance and some form of killing parents. How can those who say we should kill parents of abused children in good conscience oppose acceptance of them?”

President Obama’s first act as Executive Director instructed SAWC’s Director of Operations Fauzia Mohammad to immediately “remove all barriers to access the shelter grounds, including locks, gates, and perimeter walls.”

Mohammed told the Reader that, in accordance with the SAWC’s new rules promoting acceptance over exclusion, the front desk “will no longer require visitor identification, nor will we any longer inform the police when certain activities occur on these premises, activities that might once have sparked a violent confrontation with law enforcement.”

The shelter’s Director of Development, Faleh Almaleki, added that under the new policies, children and women “are requested to avoid dangerous accusations about abuse, in order to deter potentially violent backlash against parents in general.”

Almaleki said that he expects these new policies “will attract great philanthropic interest among DC politicians and journalists who supported similar changes to immigration policy during Obama’s presidency.”

“We cannot provide true refuge to refugees,” concluded the beloved former President, “without teaching them to love their abusers. Those who say we can provide sanctuary without acceptance are selling a fantasy.”