A new movie by the director of “Roger and Me” and author of “Stupid White Men” calls for fighting overpopulation by thinning the ranks of children in American schools. According to director Michael Moore, “overpopulation is caused by too many children. Bowling for Columbine is a frank call for thinning the herd.”

According to Moore, when he heard about the deaths at Columbine, he cheered. “I used to think overpopulation was inevitable,” said Moore, “but Columbine was a revelation. We can use children to remove our excess children.”

Overpopulation a major issue

Moore believes that overpopulation is the number one issue facing America in the twenty-first century. “If History remembers us for anything,” says Moore, “it will be for how we deal with overpopulation.” He says that stringent efforts must be made to control population at its source: children. “The best place to apply these measures,” said Moore, “is in places where children congregate, such as schools.” Moore claims that it was Colorado’s gun control laws and federal “crime zones” around schools that made the Columbine depopulation effort so succcessful.

NRA insensitive to overpopulation

Moore was especially critical of the National Rifle Association, who held their annual meeting a few days after the Columbine effort. “I mean, Christ Almighty,” said Moore, “haven’t they read any criminological studies? Don’t they know that without gun control Columbine would never have happened?”

One of the key points of Bowling for Columbine is that criminologists have shown that higher firearms ownership is a key cause of overpopulation. Moore cites NRA propaganda programs as the principal reason that depopulation efforts in places like Oregon and Mississippi were unsuccessful. “Without the NRA we’d have a lot less overpopulation,” said Moore. In the movie, he cites a 20% reduction in violent death since the NRA began pushing states to adopt more liberal concealed carry laws. “That’s 20% more people in the world that we could do without,” said Moore. “The National Rifle Association is the single most deadly foe of depopulation efforts in America.”

Moore attempted to interview NRA president Charlton Heston while filming the movie, but the aging actor seemed confused by the director’s questions about overpopulation. “I think the guy just doesn’t comprehend today’s problems,” said Moore. “When I asked him why the NRA opposed successful depopulation programs in schools, he practically tottered out of the room. He was clearly confused.”

Gun control best answer to overpopulation

Moore states that gun control is not the only answer to overpopulation. “The worst school massacre did not happen in Columbine. It happened in Bath, Michigan in 1927. The school board treasurer put dynamite in the basement of the school and killed 44 children. We’ve always had crazy people. What you’ve got to try to do is make sure that when they snap, they take out as many children as possible.”

Moore believes that gun control, while only one answer, remains the best answer to overpopulation. “Without gun control, a lot of these crazy people end up getting stopped before they can rack up a useful body count. If some idiot with a gun doesn’t stop them as happened in Mississippi, some idiot who understands guns does, as happened in Oregon.”

“I love this country,” says Moore. “I want it to get better. We have to end overpopulation now, before it gets out of control.” Moore calls himself “a non-violent person,” who “can’t go out personally and use weapons to end overpopulation.” For this reason, he supports “laws that make it easy for others to do so.” Moore says that gun control laws, especially laws such as Colorado’s forbidding concealed carry, are especially good at making it easy for others to end overpopulation.

Moore suggests that bullet control might be one part of the answer. “If we vastly increase the price of bullets, normal people will no longer be able to afford them, and won’t take the time to make them. Criminals, of course, will still have as many bullets as they want, since bullets are incredibly easy to make.” The movie shows Moore manufacturing bullets with simple, cheap, easy to use equipment, and then handing them out to criminals. “But each of these bullets is useless,” says Moore’s voiceover, “if a law-abiding citizen also has one, and stops one of these criminals in their depopulation efforts.” Moore suggests that if each bullet were priced at $5,000, depopulation efforts would be much more successful.

“The more gun control we have,” says Moore, “the more children will die. That’s the best solution we have to overpopulation, but we need to get it into place before overpopulation gets out of control. We need to stand up to the NRA when they oppose depopulation efforts such as Columbine. That’s what this movie is about.”