Breaking from Democratic party tradition, vice president Al Gore came out in support of massive limits on free speech at the Boston presidential debates yesterday. “I will help parents and strengthen families, because, you know, if we have prosperity that grows and grows, we still won’t be successful unless we strengthen families by, for example, ensuring that children can always go to schools that are safe, by giving parents the tools to protect their children against cultural pollution.”

Gore went on to define “cultural pollution” as “comic books, video games, violent films, and role-playing games. All the things that caused those poor Columbine kids to kill their classmates. I think that we have to help parents and strengthen families by dealing with the kind of inappropriate entertainment material that families are just heartsick that their children are exposed to. School should not be entertaining.”

Governor Bush countered by saying that dangerous political speech should also be banned from schools. “I’ve seen children wearing Marilyn Manson t-shirts made out of hemp,” said the Governor. “That should not be allowed, and we have already banned it in Texas.”

Gore expressed “basic support” for that position, “but we must go further if we are to protect our children. And one of the serious problems, hear me well, is that our system of government is being undermined by too much influence coming from voters who band together to make their voice heard. We cannot have these strident activists controlling the politicians behind the beltway. We have to get a handle on it.”

Gore proposed a full ban on all political speech within 1,000 feet of a child, and said he would support extending prohibition laws that allow police to stop, detain, and fine minorities and other cultural polluters without evidence, need, or charge. Governor Bush and the vice president then high-fived on national television.