Hillary Clinton resigned as First Lady yesterday, following the astounding revelation that she is an undocumented alien, a problem that has been plaguing the Clinton administration since the pair first took office in January. First daughter Chelsea Clinton noted that “she’ll be missed, but there can be no appearance of impropriety in the important post of First Lady.” The White House is reportedly scrambling for a replacement to fill Ms. Clinton’s shoes. A leaked short list of candidates included Frank Mankiewicz, Jerry Garcia, Gary Hart, Colin Powell, and Hubert Humphrey as possible replacements. When asked why a dead person was on the list, an unidentified spokesperson said, “The Vice President has always been a fan.”