The Walkerville Weekly Reader

Sunday, August 31st, 2025 — Daniel Greenfield

“The widely misunderstood ‘New World Screwworm Fly’ is a mostly peaceful parasite whose females lay eggs in open wounds and their larvae, referred to intolerantly by some as ‘maggots’, then use their sharp mouth hooks to eat their way through the host, while feeding on his tissues in what some DEI experts are calling a pointed critique of rapacious capitalism.”

“Some ‘MAGA’ types and radical right wingers are railing against the prospect of the severe pain, swelling fever and secondary infections caused by the highly sensitive flesh-eating parasite, but their crude stereotyping of this latest migrant to cross our border shows their hateful ignorance.”

Friday, August 2nd, 2019

“The scientific consensus is that roughly 10-12 years from now, the world will be flooded with new doomsday predictions. This can all be avoided if we overhaul the economy and become socialists, according to non-political, unbiased sciencey type guys.”

“If we don't take action, then in 12 years we will have to explain why the world hasn't ended and come up with a new number," one UN scientist warned. "This is a very serious threat, and we urge everyone to hand control of the economy to the government immediately before we have no more time left to change the timeline again.”

Tuesday, June 12th, 2018

“Fair warning to all you Drumpf lovers out there: You might want to keep scrolling past this story, because a Resistance smackdown this epic may be too much for you to handle: A student in this Toledo, OH high school wore a MAGA hat to class, and his incredible teacher’s amazing response was to completely stop having sex with him every day after school.

“As soon as ninth-grader Eric Rollins walked into her morning social studies class sporting his MAGA hat, his teacher, 34-year-old Amanda Higgins, stepped up by immediately pulling him out into the hallway and telling him point-blank that she would no longer be meeting him in secret to have sex in the football field snack stand during study halls. Yep, this teacher is the kind of heroic lover of freedom who simply refuses to have an affair with any student of hers who supports Trump’s despicable administration.”